I looked at the lady sitting beside me. She is sound asleep with her sleeping eye patch (if that is what you call it.. :p) but I was wide awake. The sound of the plane's engine was too loud, plus I was starting to miss home. I carried on reading the Malay novel that I brought from Brunei, a few pages more and I am done.
I can't believe I was in Brunei for only 5 days. My body is very much exhausted but I feel so happy! Is this the feeling Allah always gives after a mother gives birth, what parents feel when they get home from work to see their daughters/sons happily doing chores. That feeling of content and happiness that it makes you cry and thankful to Allah. I closed the book I was reading and placed it in the pouch at the back of the seat infront of me. I picked the Al-Quran in front of me and flipped open to Surah Al-Qasas verse 56. The ayat was quoted in the novel that I've just finished reading.
Dengan nama Allah yang Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang.
"Sesungguhnya engkau (wahai Muhammad) tidak berkuasa memberi hidayat petunjuk kepada sesiapa yang engkau kasihi (supaya dia menerima Islam), tetapi Allah jualah yang berkuasa memberi hidayat petunjuk kepada sesiapa yang dikehendakiNya (menurut undang-undang peraturanNya) dan Dialah jua yang lebih mengetahui akan orang-orang yang (ada persediaan untuk) mendapat hidayat petunjuk (kepada memeluk Islam)" (28:56)
kesian jua ah kalau org yang nda mendapat petunjuk Allah.. :( the woman sitting beside me is very kind and peramah. Mudahan ya kana bagi petunjuk oleh Allah. And when we were about to arrive in London Heathrow, the sun was rising and MasyaAllah lawaaa sunrise nya.. and the woman beside be looked at the sunrise and prayed. After she finished praying, she smiled. I smiled at her and we talked about so many things. She was talking about her sons who are already married and successful pilots (precisely : captains!) Alhamdulillah!! I could see the happiness in her eyes when she mentioned about her sons and cucu. :)
I still cannot believe I have now arrived in Heathrow after Brunei and USA. Going from one end to the other! Am I tired? yes I am.. but eventually insyaAllah if we believe we can do it with Allah's will, we will be able to do it! At first we will doubt ourselves on achieving but insyaAllah with the power of Doa (prayer) and tawakkal we can do it!
When I was in Utah, especially when climbing up and walking long distances, I felt like giving up. I felt like crying. My feet was hurting. And I was always doubting myself whether I could do it. Everyday was the same. But I am a person who believes in the power of doa, the power of zikrullah. I know that Allah is listening to everything I whisper in my heart. I know Allah is feeling my exhaustion. I want to hang to Allah every step that I take so that I will finish just fine. I need Allah to protect our Utah Group from any misfortune. Alhamdulillah 2 weeks in Utah went well. I cannot thank you enough Ya Allah.. If I tell the story again about how we nearly had an accident on the road and it took part of me away, it shoved my conciousness inside me without fail...would you believe me? I want to live! and Allah knows why...
When I climbed up what felt like 4 km of steep continuous ramps, I also felt like giving up. Eventually we made it up together. and the view up there was worth it! Warghhhh!!! Bring it on! hahahaha!
and now... exam is just around the corner. I still have a lot to revise.. hehehhehe! I am happy pasal my sister just delivered her baby! baby BOY! congratulations ka.. mama said that the baby cute habis and lawa! nanti babah bagi gambar... Sayu masih hati ani menerima the fact that my brother is married! Finally he is married... I think because I have always thought that kami masih damit... I've always thought that my sister tah yang paling tua and it makes sense that kaka kawin.. but when my brother kawin, I felt lain pasalnya I feel like me and my adik and my abang masih tahan2 umur macam masa inah first year.. and that we all nda kawin... :'( I know I am in denial.. kan nangisssssss kuuuuuuuuuu! kebahagiaan yang Allah bagi ani akan ku cherish sampai bila2... dalam the novel that I read atu ya ada ya quote:
"apa saja di antara rahmat Allah yang dianygerahkan kepada manusia,maka tidak ada yang dapat menahannya; dan apa saja yang ditahanNya, maka tidak ada yang sanggup melepaskannya sesudah itu. Dan Dialah yang Maha Perkasa, Maha Bijaksana"...
Me, Saya, Ana: We won't be able to contain our happiness if Allah wants us to be happy... Thank Allah for everything and smileeeeeeeeeeeeee... :)
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