Kan kawin ani byk kan dibuat.. Apatah nda lama lagi. One thing that I wish is that I started one year earlier for prep. But I started mine in January/Feb this year. That makes it 8mths of prep. With drilling operations occupying most of my weekend and budget constraints limiting my spending, I can feel the stress ke kepala sudah. Apa lagi when I am only with my mom 3/4 mths nearing my wedding. Accident with a very expensive car a day before my dad arrived from Holland. I feel like my world is crumbling down. But because of whoever's dua(s) I felt the strength that Allah channeled inside me. I have to be strong.
I think almost everyone who is planning a wedding is feeling what I am feeling right now. If you are not fussy (like me) about your wedding, you can ALMOST survive insyaAllah is you prepare 8mths before your date. But if you have a DREAM wedding, please prepare earlier at least 1yr. It is not about how near the prep is to the date. But it is about how other people can cope with the time span you have to get your things done! like your baju, jongsarat, ordering beds and wallpapers for your room! It is not a click of a button (macam PETREL). It takes a lot of going up and down Bandar. Getting the stuffs in ample time before the actual date.
Photogs are the most important thing you hav to settle first! Get one in time and you are safe. kalau last minute is most probly lowyah one. You have got to plan your time so that you can shop for stuffs for hantaran with his family. Things like this have to think.
Then comes work. If you really want to do well in your job, ofcourse you will only think about work. And only when you come home, you start thinking about your wedding preps. By the time you click a button on ur laptop, you are probly already getting ready to sleep. The only time that you hav is your precious weekend. And my weekends are always filled with drilling operations. I know I am complaining right now... But I need to let it out. You are the only one who listens to me besides Allah. Just hear me for a moment..
The times when I feel like nothing is going my way, I feel like giving up. But there is always that push from behind that sends me back to life. Dunia. What do I get from you apart from exhaustion and pain. All I need is a happy marriage and an understanding husband. Together we build a life towards akhirat.
I just need to be loved and not compared. Thought of but not talked badly about. Words. They are men's sharpest weapon. Once said, it can build or it kills.
Now that I am feeling sick, I feel another blow of hopelessness. It is not something that I want. It is something that is put into this body by The Creator. A way of speaking to me. But am I getting His message? Mudahan saja. Amiin.
Being sick is not a reason I made up not to come to the function. Yes, I have missed quite a few of functions and it is not long until your aunt flies off to UK. Have I ever missed any other? :'(
May Allah fill my life, our lives with happiness and laughter. Bless our married life and fill it with his Rahmah. Amiin.
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